“Thank you.”
We all know how powerful those two little words are, and that expressing gratitude not only impacts the receiver, but also the giver.
The challenge is that often “Thank you” can be easy to say to others and yet be flicked away when we’re receiving it. This not only confuses the giver, but it removes our opportunity to strategically look for themes in how we are having impact (the key to unlocking purpose).
Receiving “thank you” slows us down and brings us into the present moment. It creates an opportunity to have awareness and then focus energy on behavior and outcomes that are helpful. It is also an effective way to replace the mindless habit of constantly saying “sorry” in conversation (more on that in a different blog!).
Utilizing the dynamics of “thank you” is a part of the coaching methodology I created to help clients reveal and connect with their impact and purpose.
Knowing our impact and how we achieve it, guides us to make the “right” next step decisions, and to create leadership strategies tailored to living in our purpose. Both are part of the foundational and often missing pieces of self-awareness in our careers.
Are you receiving enough words of thanks? Or perhaps: are you being thanked for things that are important to you? Either way, you may feel frustrated with not being valued, not being heard, not getting a promotion, not getting past the final interview, not knowing what to do next, etc. You may feel stuck as you ruminate about your situation.
While resigning may be an option, the problem may follow you (I’ve seen this happen a lot!). Instead, or at least simultaneously, I invite you to look inward. Take charge. Be an expert on you so that you can then leverage and capitalize on your impact and the superpowers you have to create that impact.
Here’s a couple prompts to begin that process:
QUESTION: What do you (really) want someone to thank you for? And why? Make a list, go deep, be curious and vulnerable.
In person, it is common for me to ask multiple prompts to pull out the answer. The conversation could look like this:
- What is a task/accomplishment you are proud of?: “Balancing the Budget!”
- Why does that matter? “It took a lot of work! It felt great to figure it out! It means next year will be a little easier.”
- Yes, and what impact did that have on others? “Hmm…” [silence] “maybe people felt surprised that we could do it? Or trusted us more? Or will now have the resources to be more confident creatively? Is that what you mean?”
- YES! Now, don’t you really want to be thanked for THAT vs what you may have said in #1? Put that in a sentence: “ I want people to thank me for showing them we can do it! for building up their confidence! for giving them the space to be more creative next season! for finding a path forward! for creating a culture of collaboration!”
- OKAY! Wow. And now that you KNOW what you really want and love, you can begin “reverse-engineering” your thoughts and actions to create the possibility for you to be thanked for THAT (i.e. the impact you love creating)… Every.Single.Day.
When you begin to know how to convey your impact (in person & in your writing), like any truthful “sound bite” we make it easy to be repeated by others and reinforced. Reputations and personal brands are created. Momentum builds, time management and decision-making become efortless. Sparks fly, goosebumps happen, and lives of impact, purpose, ease, financial and personal sustainability and joy occur.
The next time someone says “Thank you,” really listen. Reinforce it by replying, “You are welcome! You know, [Helping/Building/Creating…artiulate your impact identified in #4 above] is something that brings me joy.”
Let’s DO this! Join me in the The Career (Life!) Breakthrough Academy and you’ll become an expert on yourself!!
As always, let me know what thoughts this blog brings up, and if you’d like a guide as you search for your next job, make Next Step decisions, uplevel your leadership, I invite you to lean in and invest in a coaching process that does just that. I am here for you!
To your success!
Kathryn
Next Chapter Coach
Creator of The Career (Life!) Breakthrough AcademyTM
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