“You can only help someone when they want to be helped.”
Wanting to make a change is certainly a first step when thinking about a career, work-life balance, salary, launching a business, seeking a new job, etc.. Taking the strategic actions needed to create the change you want is often where its easy to get stuck.
The reasons for not taking the specific, strategic actions (vs actions that do not create the possibility for the outcomes we desire) can be both complex and simple:
- We don’t know what we really want, and thus can’t create the specific strategies to achieve it.
- We believe that having what we want is a luxury, optional, self-important, even selfish.
- We believe that our circumstances are unique, and that what we want is not possible.
- In our heart, we worry we are an imposter, and don’t have the ability to achieve what we really want.
- We are ready, but we don’t know where to get the specific help we (actually) need.
- We fear failing.
Did any of these resonate with you?
Every week, I am blessed to have conversations with extraordinary leaders at self-defined Crossroad Moments, who reach out for one of my complimentary and confidential Strategy Calls. I have an intake form, and one of the questions I ask is:
“If at the end of the conversation, you have determined that Kathryn can help you achieve what you (really) want, are you ready to begin?” Guess which one the majority choose?
- Yes, and I know it’s going to be hard for me to invest in myself. [Yes, this is the common one]
Our in-depth conversation, designed to offer help in the moment, often organically shifts to what they can do next. If I think I can help with their specific scenario, I make an invitation to receive Next Chapter Coaching and/or enroll in The Career (Life!) Breakthrough Academy. For the people who say “this is exactly what I need,” here’s some common reasons they share for not taking the strategic (and proven) actions needed to get what they want:
- I’m going to make the change on my own.
- I’m going to follow the advice of … [colleagues, the industry, search firms, experts, etc.].
- I’m going to wait until … [I have more time, I have more experience, I have more money, I finish this big project, etc]
- Even though I’ve been depressed for the past month, compared to others, my situation isn’t really that bad.
- I’ve already tried a coach. They didn’t help me.
Months and even years later, I often hear back (which I so appreciate!) from those same people. Some are still stuck and disillusioned. Some become clients.
The thing is, I understand. I remember vividly the first time I hired a coach with the specific expertise I sought. It was one of the scariest moments in my life, and it took a village to help me say “yes.” And then, I began quickly making the changes I had only dreamed about and couldn’t even articulate at the beginning.
My clients and I refer to starting our work together as taking The Leap. I support people at Crossroad Moments. A lot is at stake. Taking the leap into Next Chapter work is the moment when you create the possibility for living in your purpose, having the impact you are meant to have – with joy, ease and financial sustainability.
If you are feeling a pulling, knowing that a change is needed – and you also notice yourself not taking the actions to help you… you are not alone! Let’s see if I can help you take The Leap, so that ultimately those around you can benefit by the impact you are meant to have!